October Lessons

I enjoyed going over what I learned in September so much, I'm doing it again in October. Enjoy! 

1. Plants get diseases that can spread to other plants. My sweet friend Rebecca gave me a topiary when she moved. I loved this plant because I really needed something to go in the entry way of my house. Over time though, it started to look crummy, so I assumed it must not be getting enough sunlight or water. After getting worse despite the great lengths I went to to try to nurse it back to health, I finally had to ask my mother if she could look help me figure out what may be wrong. As the daughter of someone with someone with a green thumb, she could tell right away that it was dying a slow diseased death. Meanwhile, I've also lost a bush and noticed a tree is not looking well either.

2. If you remember my September lessons, I told you that I discovered I enjoyed gardening. In October I've learned that enjoying something doesn't necessarily mean you are going to be good at it.  

3. I'm a little bit over Facebook. I joined the Facebook bandwagon late in the game-in the early summer of this year. Honestly, I do enjoy seeing pictures of children, the self-deprecating and sarcastic humor of certain friends, and links to interesting articles or blogs. Yet, I must say I'm pretty sick of all the bragging and self-righteousness. In my opinion, they should rename Facebook, Bragbook. I get that people want to share things about their lives, but I don't need to know that your kids eat all their veggies, that your husband is so fabulous he could have walked out of a storybook, and that you are now installing a white picket fence in your yard. Thank you very much.

4. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. So much attention is given this month to breast cancer awareness and the promotion of pink (male professional athletes even coordinate pink into their uniform attire) that it sort of overshadows the support of purple. I don't know who comes up with what months we should bring awareness to certain issues, but it was not a good idea to have these two issues competing for attention. While I absolutely think breast cancer awareness is important, the statistics of domestic violence are so disturbing, it should be as widely addressed. 

5. Which brings me to my next lesson. 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime. And, every year more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes (1). 

6. My family recently went to the Magic Kingdom on a long vacation and my girls had so much fun, they are still talking about it. Also, I have to admit, I had more fun as an adult at the Magic Kingdom than I did as a child. I'm not sure what that says about me. But, anyway.

Riding "Dumbo" with Jenna. 

7. Hold tightly to your children at all times in large crowds. My five-year-old daughter, Jenna, was lost twice during our Orlando trip. The first time was at the Magic Kingdom during a mob of parade people in a retail store on Main Street. Thankfully, my husband found her rather quickly. The second time we were once again in a large crowd at the Rainforest Cafe at Downtown Disney. She walked behind another family, thinking it was our turn to be seated. This time it took a few minutes (what seemed like hours) to find her. When we saw her in the middle of the restaurant she was crying and, thankfully, being helped by one of the servers. It was the worst panic I had ever felt. I don't think there is anything in life that can be worse for a parent than having a missing child or burying one. Thank the good Lord she was found both times!

Rainforest Cafe

                  



1 "Domestic Violence: Statistics and Facts," Safe Horizon, www.safehorizon.org/index/what-we-do-2/domestic-violence--abuse-53/domestic-violence-statistics--facts-195.html (accessed October 29, 2013). 

Three Tweets Third Thursday III

Hi guys! (Drum roll, please.) It's that time again for another edition of "Three Tweets Third Thursday." (Applause.) Thank you very much!

It's all about my two-year-old, itty bitty, pretty little birdie today, Miss Carissa (aka Crissy Roo). This petite lil' miss just cracks me up.

Here's a few of my favorite recent tweets:

1. "I cold. I need a life jacket."

2. She asks her dad to hold her. He says, "You're heavy." Her response: "No, I'm just cute."

3. "Mommy, I want a mailbox." "Mailbox?," I ask looking at her sister, Jenna. Jenna translates, "She means juice box, Mommy."  

Gearing up for Christmas...What? It's Not Even Halloween!

Most of you are going to think I'm somewhat crazy after I tell you this. OK, here it goes.. I've already started my Christmas shopping. Actually, I started in September. I don't really have a list, but if I see something marked down, I grab it and stuff it in my favorite hiding place.

Crazy yet? I know it's not even Halloween. But, let me explain.

You see, I can already feel the stress creeping up and peeking around the corner at me. It's tiptoeing ever so slowly toward me until December, when about a week or so after Thanksgiving, it closes in on me then clothes lines me and knocks me flat on my back, while it robs me of all the joy the Christmas season is supposed to bring.

Each year is worse than before, and I suspect it's because as children grow, so does their awareness of "things". They start to associate Christmas with getting "stuff". And even though I don't want Christmas for my kids to be focused on getting presents, the truth is, it is exciting for them and I love to see their eyes light up as they tear open the bright, sparkly paper I picked especially with them in mind. 

In addition, we as parents have more commitments and more responsibilities each year. We drive to this place for a party and that place to hunt down the perfect gift. We have events at school and at church and the list goes on. 

That said, here's the top three reasons I've started collecting those gifts:

1. I dislike crowds. I would rather pull my fingernails off one by one than to be out on Black Friday. Maybe it's because I worked in retail for a long time or maybe it's because my mom is the same way, but nevertheless, the more likely there are to be crowds, the less likely I will be there.

2. Real sales are not on popular shopping days. It is a myth that you can get lots of great deals on Black Friday and Christmas Eve. Yes, those really marked down TVs they have like two of are great deals, but they are called loss leaders to get you in the store. Then, retailers assume since you will be there already, you will buy other things out of convenience at regular prices. Or, retailers will out right lie and tell you the "sale" is only on this day. The best time to buy is now. September and October are generally slow months for retailers so they have clearance sales to get rid of merchandise to make room for the new fall items and Christmas stock.

3. I'm less stressed, when I'm more prepared. If I wait to pack everything I have to do into December, I become a crazy- acting female version of the Grinch on way too much caffeine. I get those wide bulgy-looking eyes with dark circles from all the riff-raff and lack of sleep and I'm miserable towards my family. Who needs that? When I have my shopping mostly complete, I can then calm down and be more meditative about the fact that we are really celebrating a baby's birth. A baby who would ultimately offer salvation to the world. Jesus. Ahhhh.

Already I've started asking my oldest, Jenna, what she might want for Christmas. The reasons I do this are futile because she really has no answers for me. If she does come up with something, I know when she gets the gift, she most likely will play with it only on Christmas day. Then it will gather dust like all the other toys she's received that she thought would be so great.

So, I asked her the other day, "Jenna, Christmas is just a few months away. What do you think you are going to ask for this year?" She replied, "A, robot." "Really??," I asked, confused. I wondered where she got this robot thing from. 

A few days later, we started the conversation again. "Why a robot?," I asked. "So it can help you go around and do all your chores," she answered. 

Stunned, I just sat there for a minute. I didn't know whether to feel loved by that statement or just plain sad. It was sweet that she wanted me to have help, but it made me think she thought I was way too busy. Too busy for her. Convicted, I pressed, "Do you think a robot would help me spend more time with you and less time on chores." "Yes," she said, sounding relieved I understood.

As I journey through motherhood, I often find myself tugged and pulled in many different directions. There's always laundry to do, dishes to be put away, appointments to make. I struggle with finding that delicate balance between spending quality time with my children and managing a home so that my family feels comfortable and taken care of. I find that when I'm too one- sided on either, I end up neglecting something. 

Often times, God will reveal truth to me by using my children. The same week Jenna said she wanted a robot, is the same week she came home from school with the memory verse, "Children are a gift from the Lord. They are a reward from him" (Psalm 127:3 NLT). It was absolute confirmation for me that the conviction I felt about neglecting to spend time with her was real and not just the Enemy making me feel guilty. God was showing me that the best gift I can give my children is my time because he's blessed me with the gift of their life.

So how do I go from here? I'm not quite sure. Maybe I just need to let go of some things and make time for my family and other relationships. Perhaps prayer (because I have a hard time letting go). Not getting so worked up over holidays is a start. But is that wishful thinking? Has our culture caused us to fret and run around trying to meet the December 25 deadline?

I would love to hear your thoughts. How do you make time for your children? What are some ways you've found peace and joy amid all the frenzy during the holidays? Please leave your comments on my blog page or respond on Lessons in Flying's Facebook page. Who knows, maybe your ideas can help me or someone else that may be struggling with being a busy parent.